


bad time

by starryscorpios



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, F/F, Secret Crush, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-09-06 20:18:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16839688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryscorpios/pseuds/starryscorpios
Summary: Riley chose Lucas to be hers, and some people aren't happy with it.~~~~~~~~a story in which Maya gets jealous of Lucas





	1. "happy now?"

**Author's Note:**

> hey !! i don't know how many people will actually read this but if you are here, thank you and please bear with me. this is all new to me and i'm learning how to do this.

Everything was the same as it had been for months. Lucas and Riley would go on dates every Friday and that left Maya usually alone. She could spend time with Farkle but... she didn't always need to be around him. Maya's home life was good too. Her mom and new dad were going strong, always wanting to spend time with her. Things couldn't be going smoother.

So why did her life feel so stressful?

Even teenager experiences stress, some more than others, but this wasn't your average kind of stress. Maya had a huge secret that she struggled to hide, causing basic life interactions to be stressful. It wasn't something she could tell anyone because everyone would either brush it off or hate her for it.

She shook it off and got out of bed reluctantly, hoping to be able to skip school. "Mom?" Maya called out the open door to her room, not moving from her plush bed.

"Yes?" Maya's mom, Katy, responded.

"Can I skip school today?" There was a long pause before Maya got a response, as her mother was walking down the hallway to her room.

"Now why do you want to do that?" She seemed shocked by the question, knowing Maya had never wanted to skip school when she had classes with Riley. "Did something happen between you and Riley?"

"Why would you assume that? No, we're fine, Mom," Maya lied, trying to convince her mother. "I just really don't want to go."

"I'm sorry but you're going. I want what's best for you and I don't want you to be like me, a dropout who works three jobs to make ends meet. Even with Shawn, it's still a tight stretch financially. You don't have to worry about this yet but I want you to have as many opportunities as you can." Katy pulled the blanket off Maya and urged her to get out of bed. "It's Thursday, you've only got two more school days before you can sleep all you want." Maya groaned and checked her phone before getting up. She saw an unread message from Farkle that read: _Maya! Once you're awake, please message me! Or just meet me at school._

She smiled and messaged him back, proceeding to get ready. She pulled on a baseball long sleeve shirt with _The Beatles_ picture and a skirt with the overall straps matching it with black combat boots. She fixed her hair a bit and left the house with her backpack on her shoulder.

This would normally come the time when Maya would go to Riley's and walk with Riley to school but that was _not_ happening. In the Matthews house, Riley was watching the door, hoping Maya would show up but she didn't think she'd show up. Maya had been acting differently and Riley didn't know what to make of it. "Still waiting for her, huh?" Riley's mom, Topanga, mumbled as she cleaned up breakfast. "Be careful or you might be late for school."

"I just don't understand why things are different now," Riley sighed. "She's been so... off lately. I miss my best friend, Mom."

"It's okay to miss her," Topanga said. "Just don't let it affect things you do. Maya will come back to you when she's ready, okay? Don't force her, you know how that turns out."

"Yeah, thanks, Mom. I gotta head to school." Topanga hugged Riley before she ran out the door, leaving Auggie at the table, munching happily.

At school, Maya met up with Farkle and they were talking when Lucas showed up. "Hey Farkle, Maya," he said, smiling like the cowboy he is.

"Look see, we have ourselves a cowboy," Maya taunted, mocking cowboy actions. "Tell me, Ranger Rick, how does it feel to come home from the ol' range?"

"Maya, I went home but that doesn't mean I was on the range."

"But you were, cowboy. You've got dirt on you, even from when you showered."

"How did you—"

"Don't doubt me, cowboy," she muttered, heading to her locker to grab her books. "See you around." She left as Riley walked up to Farkle and Lucas. Farkle could read between the lines but everyone else was oblivious. He knew something was off, and he wanted to confront Maya but knew that could lead to disastrous consequences. After Lucas walked up to Riley, Farkle pulled Maya aside.

"Maya," he said, "what's going on with you? You've been acting... _weird_ lately."

"Not everyone is who they seem, Farkle. Don't believe what you hear," she responded cynically. With that, she walked into the classroom and sat in her seat as the bell rang.

In the classroom, Mr. Matthews stood, as he always did, smiling as the students entered. "Yes, I know this looks like a second grade art class, but I _can_ assure you that this is your tenth grade history class." He closed the door after everyone was sitting in their seats, the desks being grouped in fours and scattered around the room. The chairs were splattered around the desks, the room emanating chaos. "So, you all know about the Holocaust, yes? About how Hitler discriminated against a people because of who they are?" Everyone nodded and Mr. Matthews sat on his desk. "Well, we're talking about that today." He paused, scanning the reactions in the room. "The Jews were, and still are, an oppressed minority. Some people hate them, some people don't. Hitler was one of the former. He hated them so much that he created the Nazi party to eliminate them. He and his following found all Jews in Germany and the surrounding places, forcing them into concentration camps for elimination. Is there anything like that today?" The last person he expected to raise their hand had their hand in the air. "Yes, Maya?" 

"It sounds like Russia and their concentration camps for gay people." The whole room shifted uncomfortably as she spoke. "Not so different from back then, are we?" The cynical tone in her voice rang in everyone's heads. "We say we've changed, but have we really? We say we're not our parents, but how can you prove that? How can you be so sure that you're _not_ your parents?"

"Maya—"

"No, people don't _understand_ the damage their words do. People don't understand that calling that boy fat can push him over the edge, calling that a girl a slut, or misgendering that trans person on purpose. No, Mr. Matthews, I won't sit in a room full of people who can't find the _basic human decency_ to treat everyone the same." Maya huffed and stood up, leaving the room to cool her head. Riley stared at the seat Maya had been sitting in, then out the door, then at the seat again. Farkle raised his hand and Mr. Matthews nodded, letting him step out. Class continued on as normal but the conversation in the hallway was heated.

"Maya! What was that?" Farkle asked, panting as he caught up to her. "Wait, where are you going?"

"None of your business, Farkle," she snapped. Farkle blocked Maya's path, making her angry. "Get out of my way!"

"Not until you talk to me!"

"What do you want me to say!? What are you looking for? Some _sign?_ Well listen, genius, you're not going to get one." Maya glared daggers at Farkle as his brain whirred.

"Maya..." He whispered, not daring to raise his voice. "Are you...?"

"Am I _what?_ Yes, I have a crush on my best friend and yes, I'm a lesbian. Is that what you wanted to hear!?" Her voice cracked as she resisted the urge to break down. "Happy now?" Before he could reply, she ran down the stairs and fled the building. Farkle walked back into history, dazed as he slipped into his seat.

"Is she coming back, Farkle?" Mr. Matthews asked, glancing at the door uncertainly.

"I really doubt it, sir," Farkle replied, shocked by what just happened.


	2. "you can tell me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! me again. i dunno how long this is gonna be but i just really wanted to get something out there! i hope you like this chapter!

That night, Maya laid in her bed, her phone going off constantly with Farkle's texts.

_Maya, are you there?_

_Maya, answer my texts._

_Listen, I know you didn't want to tell me but I'm glad you did. Despite popular opinion, I'm not one to judge. Please just text me back, okay?_

She rolled her eyes and sighed, not wanting to reply but deciding to anyway.

_maya: what do you want, farkle?_  
_farkle: I want you to talk to me, Maya. What happened today... We need to talk about it._  
_maya: no, we're not talking about this. there's no point. if that's all you came to say, then you can leave._  
_farkle: You can just drop a bomb like that and assume I'm not going to ask questions._  
_maya: you're right. you get three questions. go._  
_farkle: Oh I didn't know you were going to start now. Well... when did you learn about you being one?_  
_maya: ,,,, two more questions._  
_farkle: C'mon! You have to answer my questions._  
_maya: do you really want to know?_  
_farkle: Yes!_  
_maya: hhhh okay. it was about two months ago while on summer vacation. i was walking downtown and these random boys came onto me like i would obviously be into them and i,,, didn't want them._  
_farkle: Is that the whole story?_  
_maya: what? do you assume i'm leaving something out?_  
_farkle: You were really weird when you talked to Riley today, and everyday for the last two months. She's worried._  
_maya: you're trying to guilt trip me, aren't you? you're trying to get me to tell you something when i don't want to tell you. no. we're done here._  
_farkle: ...Maya... you can't run from this. You know how you feel... you just need to accept it. You have a crush on Riley. We need to talk about this._  
_maya: this conversation is over_

Maya threw her phone down on her bed and rubbed her eyes, trying to stop herself from crying. "No," she mumbled. "Stop it! You're not a wimp! You're Maya fucking Hart, you don't cry over some _stupid_ girl." She exhaled, crying a little. "I guess you do now, huh?"

Katy had just gotten home from a long day at work to hear crying from Maya's room. She dropped everything after closing and locking the door, basically running to Maya's room. "Maya?" She knocked on the door before opening it. "Maya, honey, what's wrong?" Katy sat down on Maya's bed and hugged her daughter. "Baby... talk to me."

"I'm so stupid, Mom."

"Why are you stupid? I think you're really smart." Maya wiped her eyes, trying to calm down but it was useless. "Did something happen at school? Did someone call you stupid? Do I have to have a talk with the school board? Because I will." Maya chuckled a little, shaking her head as she sniffled.

"No, you don't have to do that. Nothing happened at school. Or well... It was about school but not at school." Maya felt a sudden rush of anxiety, knowing her mom would want her to talk about it and she didn't know if she was ready.

"What happened, baby? You know you can always talk to me. Whatever it is... You can tell me."

"No, I can't, Mom. It's not that simple. It's really complicated and life is so complicated anymore," she rambled, visibly showing panic on her face and her movements as she left her mother's arms and started pacing. Katy started thinking and turned to Maya with a dropped jaw.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" Katy asked. Maya facepalmed.

"Me? Pregnant? That's a good joke mom. This isn't some love story written by twelve-year-olds. No, Mom, I'm not pregnant and I probably never will be." Maya kept pacing, mulling over the idea of telling her parents. "Thanks for listening, Mom. I need some space now."

"Of course. You know where I'll be if you need me." Maya smiled and closed the door after her mother left.

Katy stared at the door longingly, wishing for her daughter to tell her what's going on, for her to be able to fix it. While Katy was lost in her thoughts, the front door opened, startling the woman back to reality. She went and greeted her husband, Shawn, as he entered. "Hey Kat, you look distressed. What's up?"

"Hey..." She trailed off. "Sorry, Maya was freaking out and she wouldn't tell me what was happening so I'm a little frazzled, I guess."

"Is she still freaking out?" He asked, concerned for his daughter. They weren't biologically related but Shawn adopted Maya a few years back and they had become a happy family.

"I'm not sure and I wouldn't want to ask. She seemed to panic when I pressed a little." Katy slouched into a chair at the table in the kitchen. Shawn sat across from her and tried to ease her mind.

"It can't be anything, can it? She's not pregnant, is she?"

Katy shakes her head. "No, it's not that. I asked that and she said no, expressively. And then she said 'I probably never will be.' What could that mean? Could it be...?" She turned to Shawn, hoping he could pick up on what she was implying but he was completely oblivious.

"Could it be what?" He asked, trying to read Katy's expression.

"Do you not see the clues? She never talks about any guy, at least not in a crush-y way. She said she's never going to get pregnant. She spends so much time with Riley..."

"Are you... asking me if Maya's a... lesbian? I don't know but if you think so, you can ask. That's something she needs to tell you first though. Would you be okay with her being one?" Shawn reached for Katy's hand and she met him, squeezing his hand.

"It would take some adjusting. But I don't see why not. I'm still hoping not because life would be so much harder for her if she was, er, is. I just want her to feel comfortable with me."

The next day at school, Maya felt all eyes on her, despite the fact that they weren't. She got panicky and stressed as soon as she entered the school but suddenly felt insignificant when she saw everyone staring at Riley and Lucas, she rolled her eyes. Farkle noticed the pain in Maya's eyes and walked up to her, opening his mouth to speak. "Hey, Maya-"

"What?" She snapped unintentionally.

"What happened? You didn't text me last night after that conversation. Usually, you text me more. Was it about that thing you told me?" Farkle bombarded Maya with questions, stressing her out further.

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Sure, I guess. You ready to head to history?"

"I guess."

After class, Farkle walked up to Maya at her locker. "What happened last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Farkle," Maya replied, staring at the books she was reaching for.

"Maya, talk to me." He laid his hand on Maya's shoulder and she batted it away.

"No, Farkle. Stop pushing me."

"I'm not pushing you..."

"Yes, you are!" Farkle noticed the visible rise of panic in Maya's face. "You're squishing me, stop it, stop it, stop it!"

"Maya, I'm not doing anything to you..."

"Stop it!" Maya screamed, her hands covering her face. "Stop it, stop it! Leave me alone!" Farkle stepped closer and engulfed Maya in a hug to help her handle whatever was happening to her.

"Maya... What's wrong?"

"I can't do it..."


	3. reactions and chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back again! this chapter is gonna have some trigger warnings including drugs, homophobia (a little), and bullying. if there's anything potentially harmful in this chapter, like stereotype wise, please tell me! i'll change it if asked!

After school came chaos. Maya was about to head home but then she decided not to. Her mom was going to ask questions because Farkle was obviously going to tell Mr. Matthews, who would, in turn, tell her mother and she just didn't want to deal with that. She walked to the park where she used to hang out all the time with her now ex-friends, Carla and Renee. When she arrived at the park, she found both girls sitting on the bench. They saw Maya and Carla smirked. "Maya Hart," she spat. "What brought you back to _our_ park?"

"Yeah," Renee added. " _Our_ park."

"Shut up, Renee!" Carla glared the girl, crossing her arms.

"Sorry, Carla." They stood menacingly in front of Maya, who just brushed them off.

"Do you still have the stuff?" Maya asked, walking towards the bag on the bench. Carla ran to it before Maya could. "What is that panic for?"

"While you were with Dorothy, I got nabbed for possession. Six months in the slammer because that park police guy searched the wrong girl. Renee was out here alone. I can't put her in that position again," Carla sighed, sitting her bag back down on the bench. "I only have a little. I've been trying to come clean, but I can put you in touch with my old dealer. You can take what's left and then text them later." She wrote down the number on Maya's hand. "That's the number." Carla wrapped her arms around her chest and put the pen she had used back into her bag. Carla handed Maya a nearly empty bottle of Xanax. "Whatever you're doing with this, just know that I think you shouldn't."

"Carla, you don't know me anymore," Maya snapped. "Don't act all high and mighty now. You don't get that right." She sneered at the girls before leaving the park. She walked home, not really wanting to but realizing she didn't have a choice.

As soon as she walked in the door, her mother tackled her in a hug. "Babygirl, where have you been!? School ended an hour ago and I asked Riley if you were at her house and you weren't there." Maya shrugged off and stepped away from her mother.

"Do I have to tell you everything?" She grumbled. Shawn laid a hand on Katy's shoulder.

"Maya, we were just worried about you," he interjected, saving Katy from trying to respond. "We'd like to know where you are. We want you to be safe."

"But you don't even _try_ to know where I am." Maya stormed off, the bottle of pills rattling in her hand. She slammed the door shut, tore open the bottle, and downed three Xanax. Katy and Shawn looked at each other before they walked down the hallway and knocking on Maya's door. In a panic, she reattached the lid (barely, mind you) and shoved it under her pillow. "What do you want?" She shouted, sitting on her bed, panic-stricken.

The door opened slowly and the parents walked into the room, Shawn closing the door behind him cautiously. "We just want to talk, okay?" Katy carefully sat down on the bed beside Maya, staring at her daughter. "There's nothing I would ever do to hurt you. There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect you."

"There are things you can't protect me from, Mom. There are things you don't know and can't know because you'll hate me. Some things you can't control." Maya stood up and started pacing, the Xanax not working yet.

"Like what?" She asked calmly.

"I know how this goes. You pry with questions, trying to get me to tell you something you already know." Maya had a wave of confusion hit her. "What do you think you know?"

"Well," Katy paused, looking at Shawn for reassurance. "We were told that you told something to Farkle--"

"And he told you I'm a lesbian, huh? I told him not to!" Katy and Shawn stared at Maya's truth bomb (despite them already being able to guess). She realized what she said and instantly regretted it. "Oh my god... I..." Maya started running around, panicking. Katy stood up and walked towards the door when Maya grabbed her wrist. Katy pulled her wrist away and didn't say a word. That's when the Xanax hit her and she became suddenly calm, carefully packing things in a bag, including the pill bottle, and she swung it over her shoulder. She opened the window and slipped out the window without anything else.

The last person who expected Maya to show up on their door was the Minkus family. Stuart Minkus stood with the door to the Minkus rooftop penthouse, a confused expression on his face as he called to his son. Farkle ran out and saw Maya at the door. "Farkle, do you care to explain why your friend from school is here?"

"I have no idea, did you not ask her?" Farkle replied, stepping closer to the door. "Maya, what happened? Why does it look like you were crying?"

"I told my mom." Farkle knew exactly what she meant but Stuart did not.

"Farkle, what does that mean?" Stuart wasn't intentionally ignoring Maya, he just didn't know her super well.

Farkle stepped closer to Maya and gave her a hug. "It's okay, Maya. You're safe here." He motioned to his father to close the door. Stuart complied and followed the kids to the couch, where Farkle had Maya sit down. "How did your parents react?"

"My mother didn't say a word to me after I said it. I took my bag and left. I didn't hear what they had to say..." Maya was surprisingly calm for the events that had just transpired. "Can I stay here for a bit?" Farkle turned to his father who nodded, then pulling him aside.

"Farkle, will you please explain why we need to house your friend here? She seems nice and I'm okay with letting her stay but why would she need to stay here?" Stuart stared at Farkle, waiting for answers.

"Maya came out to her mom." Stuart had that look on his face of _'why would she need to do that'_ until Farkle continued. "She's a lesbian, Dad."

"Oh." Stuart felt relieved and kind of sorry for the girl. He didn't want her to feel out of place with her family. He walked over to her and crouched in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If you ever need somewhere to go, our house is a safe place for you." Maya smiled and Stuart stood up, leaving her with Farkle.

Farkle led Maya to a guest room and let her crash in there, bringing the bag with them. Maya passed out instantly and Farkle set the bag down nearly the opposite wall as something fell out of it. Farkle looked at it, picking it up and reading the word _Xanax_ on the label. "That would explain why she was so calm when we asked her questions but... wouldn't we know if she was prescribed Xanax though?" He read the label and it had a name that wasn't Maya's on it. "So she's _not_ prescribed it. Then why does she have it?" He shook off the strange feeling and thoughts that followed. "She has to have a reason." He slipped the bottle back into the bag and headed back to his room to sleep for that night.


	4. "is that why you're so mad at me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, me again. sorry if parts of this chapter seem really out there and random but my brain just kinda went off so feel free to give me constructive criticism!

When Maya woke up the next morning, Farkle was standing over her, glaring. "Hey Farkle, what's up?" She sat up and stretched, turning to Farkle. "What's that look for?"

"If you need help, Maya, you just have to ask," he replied, his facial expression softening. He sat down on the bed beside her and sighed.

"What do you mean?" She asked, rubbing her eyes as she yawned.

"I found the bottle of Xanax you had in your bag." Maya's eyes went wide. "I didn't mean to! I mean, I did, but it's because of the sound. I set down your bag as I was leaving and the bottle fell out so I was curious. I grabbed it and saw it was prescription Xanax. If you were prescribed it, that would make sense but it has the name _Carla Lolita_ and if I recall correctly, your name is NOT Carla Lolita, unless I'm mistaken?" Maya glared at him while she searched the room for the bottle. "I put it back in the bag if what you're looking for is the bottle." She ran to the bag, her eyes running wild. She took more of the substance and twisted the cap back on, slipping it back in the pocket in which she had found it. "Would you please talk to me about this?"

"Why should I?" Her voice cracked, ripping away layers of secrecy. While Maya laid asleep, Farkle's mom, Jennifer, came in and put all of Maya's clothes in the dresser. Why she did put the clothes away in person only she knows, but the action was still beneficial nonetheless.

"Listen, I won't hurt you. I just want to talk." Maya searched through the bag, unsure of where her clothes went. "They're in the dresser, with some new additions. My mother thought it would be nice to have new clothes organized in a dresser so... there you go. It's all yours. I'll head out and meet you in the kitchen. Mom's making breakfast. Then we'll talk." He closed the door behind him and Maya was left in the room alone. She opened the top drawer and found all the undergarments there. She pulled out what she needed and moved onto the second drawer. On top of the other items was a black short-sleeved "crop top" (it wasn't exactly short enough to be considered a crop top but it was close enough), a maroon cropped jacket, and a pair of sport type leggings. A little purple sticky note was attached to the pile with a message on it in sloppy yet readable cursive.

_Dear Maya,_

_I hope you find this outfit is your style, as what I've seen of you seems to indicate that this is your style. That sounded really professional. Guess that's what happens when you live with geniuses. If you wanna, there's jewelry (like necklaces and bracelets, I'm not that fancy) in the box on top of the dresser. If you don't want to wear any, that's fine too._

_Hope you like it!  
Jennifer (but you can call me Jen, Jenny, or Mom)_

Maya smiled at the note and took it off, pulling each clothing item out and putting it on. She glanced around the room, spotting a full body mirror. She took her phone (it surprisingly still worked) and took a photo in the mirror, smiling softly at it. "She has good taste." She shut her phone off and slipped it into the jacket pocket as she walked out of her room.

The kitchen was bustling and full of life. Stuart and Farkle were sitting at the table as a personal chef was cooking what smelled like breakfast. Into the room soon came Jennifer, smiling when she saw Maya in the outfit she picked. "Maya! You're wearing it! It really does suit you. Sit down, stay awhile. Breakfast won't be done for a few minutes." Maya smiled and nodded, taking a place next to Farkle. Farkle slid down to give her more room as Stuart stood up.

"I know you just got here Maya, but if you'll excuse Jennifer and me for a second, we will return as quickly as possible." He walked towards Jennifer, his facial expression unreadable as they left the room. Maya and Farkle exchanged a glance that said _where are they going and why are they leaving?_ Both kids quietly left their spots at the table and pressed their ears against the door. Through it, they could hear muffled talking. "Jennifer, what are you doing? She didn't come here with that outfit. Are you giving her things?"

"And what's wrong with that? She's staying with us for a little while, so why can't we spoil the kid a little? From the looks of it, she's never had much. And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing but if she's going to be a part of this family--" Stuart cut off his wife mid-sentence.

"That's just it, Jen! She's _not_ part of this family. She's just seeking shelter for a few days."

"Did she say that?" There was a pause. "I didn't think so. So while she's here, I'm going to spoil her a little. I deserve that much, okay? After everything we went through, after everything that happened, I _deserve_ this, Stuart. I didn't go through all of that for you. I didn't struggle and fight for my life just so you could be happy. Listen, she might be gone now but that doesn't mean I can't treat Maya as my daughter. However short this time is, I just want to spend time with her. We grieve in different ways, okay? Yes, it's been five years but that doesn't mean we've both moved on, Stuart." Jen's voice started to get shaky. "You threw yourself into your work. You moved away from us. That's not something I can control. That was _you_." Maya looked at Farkle, her voice struggling to make any sound. There was a long pause before anyone said anything.

"Is that why you're so mad at me?" Stuart asked softly. "You think I was pushing you guys away?" He sighed. "I didn't try to. I just needed to numb the pain. Seeing him, seeing _you_... it hurt. A lot. I didn't want to stop seeing you. But that's how I grieved."

"I think we've talked long enough. Let's get back to the kids and we'll finish this later." Maya and Farkle scrambled back to their seats as the door swung open. The adults had smiles plastered on their faces. The chef brought out the food for them all and they ate in silence. After the plates were taken away, Jennifer smiled as she stood up. "Excuse me, I have to do something before we head out today." She left the room and a breath of fresh air came in. The tension had been released and Farkle grabbed Maya's arm, dragging her back to her room.

He closed the door behind them as soon as they got in the door. Farkle was winded but that's the price you have to pay. Maya stared at him, staying quiet before the silence became deafening. "So..."

"No, I didn't know," Farkle said, interrupting what would have been an awkward sentence. "They never told me... And now I see why. They didn't want to get my hopes up."

"Farkle... You can't be mad at them or yourself for this..." Maya laid her hand on his shoulder. "They'll talk to you about this in time. If not, you can bring it up."

"Yeah... I guess that's true. Well, before my mom comes running back and before we have to leave, let's talk about the bottle that doesn't belong to you. Why did you get it?"

Maya sighed. "Guess I should start from the beginning. When I was younger, I'd always go to the park, the one I spray painted, and Carla was there. It was her and Renee. They were attached at the hip. Carla had really bad anxiety, so they prescribed her Xanax. She took it like she was supposed to until they tried to her off of it. They originally were going to just take her off but she started having seizures so they slowly lowered her prescription. Or, well, they thought they were. In reality, she was taking more and more so when the hospital wouldn't prescribe it, she came into contact with a dealer and well... it got worse for her. Apparently, she went to jail for it." Maya took a deep breath. "Carla used to be my best friend. She shared it with me when we were younger. I never had enough to do any damage but... She did. And you didn't hear this from me but Carla has gotten really protective recently so I think something is going on with her."

"So she had it and gave some to you? Why do you have it now? And why do you think something is going on?"

"Carla is trying to get away from it. She's trying to come clean. She didn't want it anymore and she gave it to me. And she's never been so protective of Renee. It as if..." She paused, mentally slapping herself. "Of course. She's trying to protect Renee. She needs to be with Renee... And she didn't just... Well, I'm not one to judge. Anyway, it's fine, Farkle. The bigger problem here is you and that truth bomb you heard." Farkle sighed.

"I really don't want to talk about it again. I'm still trying to process."

Maya sat down on the floor by the door beside him, taking his hand. "Well I'm here for you, okay?"

"I know." Farkle smiled as he hugged Maya. From the room, you could hear Jennifer shout, "Time to go, we have things to do today!"


	5. crush culture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pining central!! also yes this is based on the conan gray song. and please be careful! there may be some triggering topics to people!

Meanwhile, Riley was sitting in Topanga's, Lucas beside her, talking about something he did in Texas. Riley had no comprehension of what he was saying because her mind was elsewhere as he spoke. He started to realize that something was wrong in the middle of his sentence. "So I was--Riley? Are you listening?" He stared at his girlfriend, waiting for a response. "Riley?" No response. "RILEY!" After Lucas shouted that, Riley started to snap back into reality.

"Oh!" She muttered, getting a grip of her setting. "Sorry, I was..."

"Elsewhere. I know," he sighed. "You've been spaced out for the last three days, what's on your mind?" Riley turned to face him, touching her phone in her back pocket.

_My god don't look at your phone_

"Yeah..." She trailed off. "Sorry. I've been.. Waiting for a call."

_No one's gonna call you_

Riley pulled out her phone, checking for notifications and her ringtone.

_Quit checking your volume_

"Riley? You've been staring at your phone for a minute straight. Are you seriously _still_ waiting for Maya to contact you?" Lucas rubbed his temples frustratedly. "It's been days. She'll be fine." Riley's jaw dropped. Lucas gave her the _'what does that mean'_ look.

"You are _never_ one to give up so EASILY. Maya would never give up that easily." After Riley said that, Lucas's facial expression dropped from annoying to pissed off. His stare was ice cold and deadly. "What's that look for?"

"Why is everything about her?" Lucas stood up, visibly shaking with anger. "It's always _Maya this_ or _Maya that_. You don't ever think about me! You don't have to think about me all the time but... You never talk to me. I just want to know that you're still interested in me, in _us_."

"I am!" Riley half-lied. She really was interested in Lucas, but not in the sense of romance. At least that's what she came to realize in hindsight.

_I don't care if I'm forever alone_

"Are you sure?" Lucas pushed. "Because you've been thinking about Maya more than you've been spending time with me."

"Just because I'm worried about her doesn't mean I don't want to be with you," Riley retorted. Lucas stared at her, waiting for an explanation or an elaboration.

_I'm not falling for you_

"I'm NOT in love with Maya," She denied unknowingly.

_'Cause this baby is loveproof_

"Yeah," Lucas muttered sarcastically. "Sure."

"I'm not!" Riley shifted with her feet pointed towards the door and her body leaning away from Lucas.

_I don't care what you're saying_

__"Maya wouldn't even text me back so I mean..." Riley shrugged. "But anyway, what were you saying?"_ _

"Well I was telling a story about--" Then Riley zoned out again, nodding and giving him verbal cues to make it seem like she was listening.

_I don't wanna participate in your game of manipulation_

Was Riley really in love with her best friend? It didn't seem possible when Lucas said it but Riley started to question it herself.

_And no I don't want your sympathy, all this love is suffocating_

Lucas knew she wasn't listening but he didn't care because she didn't want to be there anyway. Inside Riley's head, she couldn't gather the idea that Maya could be her crush. Girls who like girls? That's not right.

_Just let me be sad and lonely_

Riley knew one thing for sure: she couldn't stay with Lucas.

_'Cause_

"Lucas?" Riley said abruptly, interrupting his story.

"Yes, Riley?" He replied, a curious expression on his face.

"I can't do this. I can't do _us._ " Lucas sighed, knowing this would happen. "You're a really great guy but..."

"You aren't in love with me?"

_Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out_

"Yeah..." Riley confessed.

"Because you're in love with Maya."

"No!"

_I know what you're doing, tryna get me to pursue ya_

Lucas gave Riley an _oh really now? kind of look because he knew the way Riley truly felt but wouldn't let herself feel because she thought it was wrong or that it would never be. "Stop trying to deny it, Riley."_

_"Stop pushing me, Lucas!"_

_Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out_

"I'm not pushing you, I'm showing you the truth!" Riley stood up, angry and confused, and ran out of Topanga's. She stared at her phone as she walked, wondering if Lucas was right.

_Oh no, don't look in their eyes_

Maya's eyes always captivated Riley when they sat next to each other.

_'Cause that's how they get you_

Could Riley really be in love with Maya?

_Kiss you than forget you_

Riley decided that she was going to figure this out once and for all. She dialed Maya's number, not expecting her to pick up. "Maya? Hey, it's been a while. Where are you?"

"Sorry I haven't been talking a lot," Maya apologized. "The last few days have been messy. I'm with the Minkus' outside the subway terminal, why?"

"Which subway terminal?"

"Bleecker Street."

"Don't move, then."

_All they're feeding you is beautiful lies_

Riley texted her parents as a quick update as to where she was going, saying she might be home a bit later than anticipated. She took the fastest possible route, hoping Maya hadn't lied.

_So hide in the bathroom_

Riley's heartbeat was beating rapidly when she spotted Maya, so she tried to hide to build up courage.

_'Til they find someone else new_

She decided to just go for it. Maya was looking around, staring at her phone as she hoped Riley would show. Maya quickly spotted Riley, who was running up to Maya way too fast but nothing bad happened so it was fine in the end. Maya opened her mouth to speak when Riley cut her off with a kiss. Farkle and his parents stared in shock as to what happened, not upset that it happened but utterly shocked. Other people in the subway glanced at them but they didn't care. Maya stood on her tiptoes, running her hand through Riley's hair. Riley let go of Maya, their foreheads still touching. "I know this is sudden and everything, but I broke up with Lucas."

"Riley, you _what?_ Don't tell me you did this for me," Maya said, feeling really guilty.

"It wasn't completely about you. I didn't really like him. At least not in the way I like you." Riley pulled Maya closer.

"Are you sure?" Maya asked. "I mean, I don't want you to start questioning everything for me."

"I've always been questioning, Peaches. I've come to the conclusion I'm pansexual because it doesn't matter how you identify, I love you however you are." Riley nuzzled against Maya's forehead as Maya blushed. Farkle hated to ruin the moment but the subway arrived.

"Hey, Maya, are you still coming with us?" He asked before stepping into the train. She glanced at Riley and back at them.

"Yeah, but I'm bringing a plus one." Maya pulled Riley onto the train as it started to pull away. They stood beside each other on the train, Riley holding Maya's hand like the world depended on it.


End file.
